Setting New Year Resolutions

I was thinking about making a video to mark the end of the year. It seemed apt to talk about goal setting since this is what I (and I am sure many others) are thinking about this time of the year.

However, instead of talking about what goals to set in 2023, I want to talk about what 2022 has taught me.

Here are the lessons. 1. The magic of thinking small Over the years, I used to set extraordinarily difficult goals with the mindset that even if I don't reach the goals, I would have made significant progress. Unfortunately for me, that would usually turn into an intimidating goal. I would procrastinate and the more I ran away from it, the scarier the goal became. Long story short, I would feel bad at the end of the year and set even more audacious goals - hence repeating the cycle. 2. Doing less, not more I, like many others, have a lot of interests. There are many things that I think are cool - so many books to read, courses to attend, Youtube, Podcasts, Blogging. In a burst of energy, I was able to do all this frantically for a time but then I would burnout and stop them altogether. I think what may work better is doing things that I really enjoy and do them for the sake of joy that they bring. doing less is more. For people like me who struggle with consistency, momentum through very small steps is important so doing less is better in the long run. 3. Self development happens during life, not outside of it Have you ever daydreamed of disappearing for a couple of months - improving yourself - losing weight, learning a new skill, transforming yourself and then surprising everyone? I have. For most adults in my position, it is impossible to do because being away from loved ones, my work my friends is not a price I am willing to pay and frankly it takes away from my values. I know that it is probably procrastination speaking whenever a thought like that arises. There are never going to be perfect circumstances. It serves you much better to recognize your reality, accept it, but not from a pessimistic point of view. Rather, look at the small buckets of time and energy that you are currently wasting and redirect it towards your goals. It will happen slow, it will require patience but guess what? You consistently move the dial. 4. Balance Compassion and Accountability One of the hardest things to do for me is to hold myself accountable while being compassionate. Allowing myself the grace to fail again and again and again while at the same time not letting myself drop the ball is hard, very hard. Especially, the self talk can sometimes drive me nuts. I start being very hard on myself and start doubting that I am trying to cop out of achieving my goals by being compassionate. it is still a hard balance. But I know being harsh on myself hasn't worked much in my favor. And being totally tax won't work either. I will search for the balance and this leads to... 5. Starting from now but building on what has already been achieved In the past, I would look at a new year goal setting exercise as a completely new beginning, starting from scratch. Erasing everything that was done or not done the previous year- mostly out of guilt because I wasn't realistic in setting my goals in the first place. I don't intend to do that this year. I recognize that I am not starting from absolute zero and that each year builds on the previous - that's how great things are achieved. Resetting each year is not for me anymore.

I hope these lessons help inform you setting better goals!